Thursday, October 30, 2008


Right now frustration is the name of the game. I can't see with my glasses and I can't see without them. Oh yeah I mean I can see the same amount that I could see before without them which isn't a whole lot. I am terribly frustrated because it is so difficult to do anything. I don't know why but when they were discharging others yesterday they were making appointments for them to go back to see the surgeon today. When it came to my turn however, my appointment to see him is not til Nov 15th which is a long time away yet.
I had an appointment this afternoon with my Phsychiatrist who also had his eyes done just last week and he was saying that it could be that the lens has slipped but that if that was the case it could be corrected, but he was surprised that I didn't have to go back today to see the surgeon for a post-op followup. He didn't have any trouble seeing on day 2, that kinda made me feel that since I am getting mine done through OHIP and not paying the big fees, I am the least of concern and that I am not getting the same standard of care.
Right now it is impossible for me to work and if that doesn't change it means half a month before I even find out what is happening much less to get anything done about it. I am really worried, I can't afford to lose so many days since I only get a couple of hours a day anyway. It's not like I can make it up once I can work.
Tonight we went to a "Don't be Caught Unprepared" seminar at the local funeral home. I was quite surprised by some of the things I learned and now have some other things added to my list of Stuff that has to be done soon that is gonna cost me a chunk of money I don't have... sigh.. there is always something and I sometimes feel that I am being smothered by it all. I always thought that since it was just the two of us and only our daughter that everything would just automatically go to her and that was it. I found out tonight that isn't the case at all, we HAVE to get our wills made and do it fast, otherwise the government is going to end up with what don't belong to them. (like they don't already have us over a barrel)
So within the next couple of weeks we will be making wills, preplanning and prepaying our funerals. I will NOT leave everything to fall on my daughter's shoulders at a time when she will be at her most fragile state. Even though we have often talked about these things and she knows what we want, making those preparations at that time she would be most likely pressured to do something no one wants.
Anyway, I think I am going to go to bed now and cry myself to sleep, I feel this huge pity party coming on and I don't want to share it.


melody said...

lots of hugs sent your way chickie! i can only imagine what you're facing right now...and're right about the *will* thing..i SO gotta get on that, too!

Tara said...

Sorry to hear you're struggling my friend. Big Hugs!!